How to cross a Mexican road

Why does the Mexican cross the road? To save his life! Crossing the road is something Mom drilled into you - look to your left, look to your right, look left again and if nothing is coming cross the road. But how do you manage that when the the rules have changed, traffis is fast and chaotic and there is an extra lane of traffic tou have never seen before?

In the State of Jalisco, as in many others high speed  traffic is channelled in four lane highways, each lane is split in two making it an eightlane highway, those lanes have to be crossed if one wants to go on the other side. Some overhead pedestrian walkways exist but they are few and far between. The wrinkle in Puerto Vallarta is that of the eight lanes four are arterial and four are access. The outside lanes are the only lanes that a car can use to get to the side streets or turn into another street. So just imagine if you are on the arterial, the two centre lanes and you have to make a U-turn or go to a side street you have to move over to the access road. This is achieved by looking for a side ramp, and that means ramp as these lanes are pitched at an angle because the access road is usually a couple of feet lower than the middle lanes. When in the access road one stays in it until the street on your right is reached. However if the road you want is on the other side a move peculiar to Mexico has to be made.

The left hand lane of the access lane, at a traffic light, is reserved for vehicles wanting to turn left into a side street on the crossing, or for cars that want to go back the way you came, because the street you want is between lights on the other access road. You are allowed to make U-turns into either the arterial or the collecters going in the opposite direction.

BUT only when the traffic light shows a red light and a green arrow. This combination only exists in Mexico so watch for it. Why the explanation about the traffic lights? Because if you don't understand the order of the lights and which lanes move at what time you will get caught in the general chaos and speed of the traffic.

OK where to cross these eight lanes? In practise one can cross anywhere if one is fast and observant. But for the timid there is only one place to cross - at the lights. Cross only when the lights are red. Stand at the crossing watching the lights one has look for a flashing green, signalling an upcoming red. The traffic will not stop until a red shows so be prepared for cars not stopping when they should. Look left into the lane you are crossing - move to the next kerb - look left again and cross to the opposite traffic direction - look right, both for the red light and possible lightjumpers, cross to the next kerb - now for the tricky one, you are about to cross the inside lane of the access road. LOOK for the flashing green arrow if it is there - STOP until the cars in that lane have passed and then cross the final lane.

Congratulations, if you moved at a fast pace you will make it before the access lane's green arrow comes up and you have crossed the road in one pass. Try it often and you will gain confidence so when your usual adversary tells you to "go play in  traffic" you say "OK, I know how!"

Cashing in the chips

As readers will know, the Burds received a handfull of goodies for enduring a "presentation" at their hotel. The jungle tour, described in a previous post was well used and yesterday the rest of the package was cashed in.

The two free massages at the Spa were, according to Doreen - "great!". But before getting to that we had to buy half-price all inclusive packages at the front desk. $33.00 for a full day of meals, drinks and entertainment was the hit. Getting into the buffet breakfast it was decided that Doreen and her brother Charles would take up the free massages and Manon would sit by the pool and Ben would catch up on the cyberspace stuff, back in the room. Ben also regaled M&C with his exploits the previous evening. B&D had been invited to 'an owners meeting'.  D did not want to go and B finding nothing on TV trekked on down, found the  farmers from Vermont and preceeded to go through the usual stuff - hosts telling us what great people we were, invitations to eat the food, drink free drinks and chat with new friends. Then the entertainment - us. The host wheedled and whined and finally got some volunteers to go to the front for his games. Sensing he was missing one male he looked for a sap willing to be plucked from the cozy confines of the back of the room to be embarrassed by some silly game. He found one - Ben. "You Senor, sitting at the back of the room." obviously without an escort - an easy mark. Playing the game I approached the play area and proceeded to receive basic foot step dance intructions. Having mastered this we moved into a small game of "Tequila means dance, whiskey means change partners and Rum means STOP!" Cutting a long story short, another unknown women manged to survive them all. She received a tee-shirt and I got a free pass to "Swim with the dolphins" The kicker being that we could only use it if we bought a matching ticket, $69.00 - no dice.

Breakfast done and determined to extract maximum value for the all-inclusive, we stayed at the pool knocking back beers, strwberry margeritas and pina coladas. Looking around it was noticed that everyone else was doing the same but the smart ones were getting their Canadian Tire mugs filled -  the largest ones seemed to be favoured. Spa done, drinks done, it was time to walk to the hotel where D's sister was staying - a fifteen minute walk, accomplished in five by using the bus! Hey it was hot.

Back at the hotel, after walking to the mall to get a decal for C's new car, it was supper time. Pigging out on the buffet again it was time to watch the "International Night"  A stage show put on by the hotel's activity staff. When these kids sleep one can only guess - work the pool all day and then act until 9pm and beyond. Not really chuffed by this Mike Nd Molly on channel 31 was more appealing.

Down to the front desk to remove the purple wrist bands that entitled us to all the goodies and the day was done.

The big 50!

It's not so big if you have past it; the half Century mark in your life, and it's not something to look forward to as you near it. It's the pshycological point of your life when one speculates about immortality or is it just another birthday?


Not wanting to probe the big questions of life we all gathered at Blake's Sports Bar at six pm to help the Birthday Boy -  aka Charles Samis - celebrate the big one (for him not the rest of us - we're long past that point!). The Sports Bar is a very successful eating/drinking establishment set in the middle of a hotel area and on the main bus route into the Town. With a capacity for about fifty seaters, fifteen people at the bar and still more outside on the sidewalk patio it is usually filled at most times - a popular place. The quality of the food and the price of drinks; 20 pesos for a Dos XX and 60 pesos for a large glass of wine does it for me. The others in the party: Doreen, the love of my life, Charles the birthday boy and the love of his life; Manon and another couple we had just met in the elevator two hours previously, were in it for the food.

Seated at a hurriedly prepared table (of two pushed together) the waiter told us the bigger tables were already reserved, making the owner of the Bar, a happy and envied man - sold out tables are hard to come by this tourist season. Ordering drinks, a bucket of beer (four bottles in an icefilled pail) costs 70 pesos a 15% discount for buying in bulk, and a vino blanco for Doreen. Jake, the new friend and a farmer from Vermont in his real life drank beer and his wife Pauline was sipping soda water. Swapping family history and other such small talk made the time pass enjoyably while we waited for the meal. Passing on the 'sopas and starters' we were straight into the entree. Chicken CordonBleus, were the orders of the day for some, the others had Sea Bass on a rice patty with veggies (broccoli and carrots) on the side. All served to perfection and suitably aided by the flow of beer.

Time to celebrate and let Charles open his card - Manon had organised a card filled with signatures and best wishes from his siblings, even those not there last night - an impressive achievement. The surprise in the card was a number of "Cash for Life" lottery tickets. Good luck Charles.

Of course the event had to end, but on a happy note - the final bill came out less than expected - no more than $25 dollars a piece. What could be better than this for Charles, good times, good memories and a ride home on a rickety bus!

A day in the jungle

Down in the lobby to be picked up by the bus, after the usual Mexican runaround - "Be there at 9.50 Senor." "It's running a little late Senor, a few more minutes, finally at the assembly points, "Quince minutos, Senor". So twenty five minutes after the appointed time we get on the bus.

Freddie the tour guide, tells us, after a meandering, slow trip through the downtown, "We stop to look at silver - you will get a good discount here!"  getting off near our downtown haunts we traipsed off to one of our favourite coffee spots to wait out the half hour the tour wanted us to spend in the silver store. Unfortunately for them we knew where to get good coffee, so we did. We saved the silver money and spent it on coffee - 18pesos ($1.50).
 

Back on the bus, we settled into the twenty mile trip to the jungle. But first of all we had another stop to look at the Bay from a very important restaurant, one where Hollywood eats when they are in town. Back on the bus we then set off again for the jungle, all the time regaled by Freddie's tales of the area and the upcoming jungle. He really was the best guide we have had in all of our travels. One of the strangest things we noticed was the number of Mexicans on the bus, over threequarters of the passengers all told. Speaking to Freddie about this, at one of the stops, he told me that now that tourism is down, it forms 30% of the Mexican economy, the hotels are appealing  to the growing middle class with package deals that they put on their credit cards.
 

Down the road again, we pull into a local tequila distillery, for a tasting and sales pitch. A quick look around the wayy tequila is made and then "gather round folks we are going to taste tequila." Straight tequila reposado. Reposado means rested, in other words not the usual crap that is right out of the bathtub. A little smoother and less bite reposado is quite good. But as most people can't hack it the next two were mixes designed to appeal to non-drinkers. First the almond mix - very nice, and then a syrupy dark mix of chocolate, vanilla and coffee in the tequila. All good stuff bbut pretty pricy. Fifty dollars a bottle was about average but of course this is the original and you do know where it comes from. Back on the bus we set off once again for the jungle.
 

Finally we pull into the complex that is the base for the jungle tour. It is a "Canopy" complex. A "Canopy experience" is a series of ziplines set up in the trees about fifteen or twenty feet high. One is strapped into a harness, clip the pulley onto the wire and fall to the next tree platform. Fifteen lines and one and a half hours later you fall into the last platform at the restaurant. 

At this complex we order food because we are now on a timetable, Freddie wants to lead us on ahike. But first the food. We settle on "Chimichanga" beef or chicken. This dish is a deep fried wrap with the contents being beef or chicken strips mixed in a salad filling. Very tasty but laden with saturated fats. It should be noted that another option on the menu is 'deep fried ice cream' what's the bet that that dish is fried in the same deep fry? A bucket of beer and four entrees as well as the humongeous mange mix that Doreen managed to drink came to $25 dollars a piece.
"You want to come on a hike?" this chubby five footsix man who appeared to be middle aged asked. Why not if he could do it we should be able to, right? And we did. Up a trail that wound up steps, around a hillside and back down more steps, across rocks in the streambed and back to the restaurant. Past the miniature monkeys in the cages and back on the bus to come back to the hotel.
 

Seven and a half hours after leaving the hotel we were back. Full of food, having trekked a little way into the green space, not exactly machete hacking stuff but at least trees and insects. A really good day that only cost us the meal (after all we had earned the trip by enduring a sales presentation at the beginning of the week) - good value!

At last a post

OK the partner in crime, the other half of the publishing team has shamed me into action. Yep Deb O was right I did email and tell her a post was coming and the lack of a decent connection was stopping the publication of the diary.

As mentioned before this trip may be repetitive to readers if they scroll down to the entries of 2009 and compare. It appears to be the same stuff - driving around and looking at familiar sites. but there are differences. Here is one of them:

But there is a solution but it can't work all of the time  for obvious reasons. The best connection is in a Sports Bar around the corner. This pub - just the kind of place Merk would find idyllic in his quest for a foreign vacation - is operated by a couple from Edmonton and the place is fabulous: cheap beer and great food. Best of all a free wi-fi connection - as long as you keep drinking! So the question is - just how much time can one spend in the bar drinking beer and wi-fiing?

But the last couple of days, geez is it Friday already, have been spent just driving around, we have to use the car while we have it - it goes back on Saturday after a hotel move, and choosing places to eat. Last night we went downtown on the Bus (prices for a one-way trip are now 6.5 pesos - 50cents). After a look around to see the changes since our last visit two years ago. If Mr Flaherty wants to see how a stimulus package should work he should come here. The sidewalks and streets are being ripped up for water and hydro installations. All the work is being done by hand - not a backhoe in sight and all of the guys are earning good money to boot.

Ended up in a place called Anandales (anandahlays) for dinner. As we left one of the party noticed a Rotary Banner, one of the little ones that visitors bring to clubs they visit. The banner was from Cobourg, complete with a little Vic hall on it. Just guessing but the good money is on Tom Copeland, our pal from Eagle.ca, leaving it behind in December when he and Elenoar visited here. A nice touch.

Today we are off to do a Jungle Tour. On our first visit here in 1987 this tour was the first one we did and was memorable for two things - the activities of a horny monkey and the peculiar seafood plate that included starfish. Let's see if it has changed much. Probably not - jump on a bus, drive around to the local river, walk upstream to the waterfall, have lunch in one of the local watering holes, jump back on the bus, go to a local store and sample the free tequila - all in the name of "tasting". A pretty good way to spend a day and the tickets were free, not really free, we earned them at the hotel "presentation" that we took just to get the hostess off our backs.

Impressions so far:

• Tourism is down, Americans are staying away and the Canadians have taken over the place. So the place will be "nice" and everyone will be polite to each other and queue for everything!
• The local tourism industry is hurting, not so many establishments in business and "Se Vente" signs all over the place, especially in commercial areas.
• Timeshare salesmen, the scourge of tourists - as they continually interrupt you wherever you walk, are numerous and hungry. Their commissions are being cut and business is down. One can still find that $500 US is still being offered for a couple of places that want to inflict a "presentation" on you
• Prices: A good meal will cost $20.00 and a cheap beer is 15pesos, sometimes 12 pesos. A bucket of beer at the Sports Bar, on special - 70pesos five in a bucket.

This was written as the first post but still a good story.

Meeting Officer Pedro
One of the hazards of driving in PV, especially with a car with foreign plates or a rental car sticker on the back, is the peril of the local "Transit Police". Always on the lookout for 'mordida' - the bite - the bribe - the extra money they can extort and tourists are the ones with the cash.

So driving out past the airport, in the absence of traffic,  an obstructed red light came up fast - we ran it and the cop saw it. Lights flashing he got us to the side of the road, to be fair we had seen him at the side of the road dealing with another matter but the chance of a really big fish - us, was too good to pass up. Big smiles, "You went through a red light."
"Yes Officer"
"Wait here" as he played the game and delayed the enevitable by going back to his cruiser. He came back with his ticket pad and again stood at the window.
"You missed a red light, the fine eIghteen hundred Pesos ($180.00), Senor."
 With my license in his hand and despite the illegality of him keeping it being pointed out to him he continued to tell us that we could get the licence back the next morning. "Why not now?"
"Because the paper does not get filled out until 7pm."

So now the dance begins. "Can we pay the fine now - to you? How much will you take?"
"How much do you want to pay?"
"$20.00 dollars (that was what we paid last year in a speeding sting)
$20.00?" he repeated in a tone of astonishment, obviously wanting to raise the ante.
By this time Doreen was waving a $50.00 bill at hime (it was the smallest US bill she had at the time), he was looking at it.
"Here it is." she said.
"No, no this is between you and me." he said obviously well into the tango by now. "Between you and me."
It sunk in and I quickly folded the bill into the proferred traffic ticket and hid it from any possible videocam that may be either in his car or on a nearby streetlight pole.

As he quickly concluded the transaction I then asked him his name - "Pedro" he said. We wondered what the chance were of ever making a complaint to the authorities by starting the enquiry with - "Do you have an Officer Pedro in your command?" and the casual reply would be "Si Senor which one, I have four hundred!"

Away again in 2011

Looking forward to many of these!

This blog may be repetitive if compared to the 2009 effort - I hope not but as others have told me that they like to see what we are up to this blog will continue. The same set of travellers are on their way to PV. Doreen and I, and her brother Charles and his girlfriend Manon - very good travelling companions.